Raef update

Having Raef in the NICU is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I came home Sunday evening. I'm so heartbroken, because I want to be at home with Austin and the girls, but I want to spend all my time with Raef. I feel like he needs me, but I really can't do much for him. The only times I get to hold are every 3hrs during feedings. His little body is working so hard. He needs to be able to rest and focus on his lungs developing. Yesterday was the first time he actually took a whole bottle from me. It was amazing! He was awake and very relaxed. I'm so glad he's able to suck and I can't wait to be able to nurse him. I'm pumping milk for him, so he's still getting the good stuff, but it's not the same. The only benefit from all thus pumping is that I actually feel like I have a lot of milk.

Raef was taken off the CPAP machine after the 1st day. I wish I remembered all the medical terms for everything, but now he has little tubes that point in his nose that push air in. He's definitely improving, but it's going to take time. The NICU staff at mercy Gilbert has been really great. They're obviously not rushing anything and Raef will just come home when he is completely ready. I'm trying to tell myself that this is just going to be a crazy month. Hopefully the beginning of February we can try to get get back to normal. Even though he'll be a month old then, he'll still be like a newborn. With premies you have to just go off their due date with milestones. To me that means I won't be getting any sleep for 2 months instead of just 1. Ha. Oh well. I know he's doing ok... Every day just seems long.

So many friends and family have been willing to help with the girls and bring us dinner. I have never been so accepting of help in my whole life and I'm incredibly grateful for it. If you offer it, I'm taking you up on it. ;) The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. I don't know why our family has to go through this, but we tell each other we're going to have the strongest family ever. Thanks for all the prayers you're sending for us!